The First Step
On Your Pathway with Purpose
By Jeannie Anderson
The first step toward any kind of change is a two fold process. Part one is in knowing where you are now and part two is in discovering where it is that you want to go. That discovery process is a journey, one that involves exciting opportunities as well as some great personal challenges. Only you know what you are truly capable of and what your life’s purpose is.
Or do you?
For many people, taking that first step can seem overwhelming, even scary. The “knowing where you are now” might not be a comfortable place to be emotionally. However, the most important element of this first step is complete honesty—with yourself. Without complete honesty you will never find complete purpose and fulfillment. As you deem yourself to be, thus you will be. Being dishonest with yourself about who you are and where you are in life will only cause your goals and dreams to be off target. You cannot achieve your own goals by pretending to be someone you are not. So, in short, GET REAL; then and only then can you get out of your own way and embark upon the journey that brings you ideal happiness.
In being honest with yourself there may be some negative personal qualities that you must admit to and address. This self exploration is not intended to be, nor should it become, a self thrown “pity party” or a collection of excuses for why you should not proceed. These shortcoming, once identified will no longer form obstacles in your path but can actually become important lessons, and as I like to call them “your stepping stones” to higher ground.
Perhaps the most important concept to wrap your mind around is that anything, any circumstance, any past events, any person, place, or thing that has served as a negative imprint upon your life can become a positive imprint if you allow it to. I do not in any way mean to minimize anything that has occurred in your life that has hurt you or left significant scars emotionally, mentally, spiritually or physically. What I am suggesting here is that good and bad are perceptions. When something happens to us we perceive it to be a “good” thing or a “bad” thing based on how it makes us feel. I submit to you, however, that how we choose to view those events determines how we perceive them throughout our lives. For some people, having had a consuming and destructive addiction in the past may still serve as a barrier that holds them down and immobilizes them years later. Others can recognize that although it was a “bad” time in their life, there was something to learn from it. They choose to use it as a stepping stone to reach out and help others in that same position thus, turning a “bad” thing into a “good” and useful thing.
We cannot always choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we respond to what happens to us. You may be reading this page and saying to yourself, “yeah, that’s easy for you to say, you don’t know what I’ve been through or what I’ve done in the past”. And, you’re right, I don’t know what you have been through or done, but I do know what I have experienced and what I have been able to overcome, and let me assure you that I am no stranger to hardship.
My belief is that everything and everyone has a purpose. Many times, either owing to our own misguidance or to that of others, we stray from our true path. We become disoriented and even lost as we explore other paths. Ultimately, we become dissatisfied with life and develop a “that’s life” attitude. When in reality, your path is still in front of you, waiting for you to discover your true destination and set out toward your future. It can be just that simple, and it is entirely up to you. The choice to take that first step—truthfulness, brutal honesty—albeit a giant step for many, is just that—the first step to an exciting, fulfilling, empowering journey to who you really are and to where you are truly supposed to be going.
As an ending thought, but as a beginning to your journey, I would like to challenge you to take action and to create a list of positives about yourself. Consider the perceptions you have held about yourself in the past and try to find what is positive about those experiences. It will be hard, for some excruciating, but it can be done and it is essential to taking that first step toward personal fulfillment.
Try starting sentences as follows:
I am good at…,
What I like about me is that I ….
I am happiest when….
Now don’t stop until you really can’t think of one thing more to add. If you have a different lead in go with it. Keep adding to the list as you think of things. Sometimes this exercise is difficult because we do not like to sing our own praises, but the truth is that until we recognize our positives all we will see is our negatives, and it is with our positives that we will find our true purpose!
Jeannie Anderson is the founder of Pathways With Purpose, LLC providing life and business coaching. She is a wife and mother of three, a writer, an entrepreneur, and a quintessential balancer of life, work, and family. She makes time to provide candid insights and speaking engagements for the betterment of women everywhere. Jeannie may be reached at: jeannie@pathwayswithpurpose.com or by calling her office at: 407-695-4491.
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